


There are certain times in life to be horny. While being straddled by your enemy who has an axe to your throat is not one of them.

by orphan_account



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dream says “good boy” is that a tag??, Fluff, It’s not smutty but it’s horny, M/M, Oh boy oh gee, Other, Sapnap is horny for less than 1k words, Straddling, do i need to tag like? things?, i feel like a Youtuber saying that, i wrote this at 9am on a Monday and it shows, it’s because i’m bad at it, i’ll write a longer one if i get a good response, i’m so used to joke tags i don’t know anymore, like do i need to tag that?, like..... praise????, never written stuff like this before and for good reason, wait this is less than 1k words? huh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27206351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sapnap runs into the three things he didn’t want to deal with today:1. Hormones2. Thorns3. DreamJust his fucking luck.
Relationships: Antfrost & Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Darryl Noveschosch & Sapnap, Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 390





	There are certain times in life to be horny. While being straddled by your enemy who has an axe to your throat is not one of them.

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve never written stuff like this before and it shows.
> 
> i was practising writing semi-romantic stuff and this happened oops. take my trash and feast upon it like the cockroaches that you have become.
> 
> (please don’t hurt me)

Sapnap trudged through the huddle of bushes, careful not to prick himself with the stray thorns which caught his eye and drawing his iron sword at every movement within the thicket. Now, he had no idea whose _stupid_ idea it was to split up and look for Dream — probably George’s, the fucking British idiot — but he hated it, feeling vulnerable as he was left without company. Even worse, he was the only team member without a shield, so he basically had no chance.

At least he wasn’t doing this at nightfall, Sapnap supposed, glancing to the bright sun, where he deducted that it was about five pm: time and time again of taking part in manhunts had paid off in the strangest skills possible: being able to tell the time from just the sun or the moon; becoming unnaturally good at leaping across treetops and leaves for a quick escape—

Hearing usually unnoticeable noises in the bushes.

Sapnap jumped, whirling around to face where the noise had come from — he wasn’t one to jump to conclusions, but goddamn, if that wasn’t the sound of someone eating. Unmoving, he stood, sword drawn, desperately hoping that if he was still enough, Dream wouldn’t be able to see him. Everything around him  was static, as if time itself had stopped while he stared, unblinking, at the bush.

Then someone hit him from behind, and Sapnap stumbled forward, barely able to catch himself and spinning to see an all-too-familiar mask smiling right at him. Not fully registering what was happening, Sapnap froze, just long enough for his sword to be knocked from his hand and skid out a good few metres away from him. Quickly, he darted toward the discarded weapon, only to be grabbed by a hand much stronger than he was, which dragged him away from the sword and threw him to the ground.

Within moments, Dream was on top of him, an enchanted gold axe in one hand, the other holding both of Sapnap’s wrists above his head. Suddenly, as he was trying to think of some plea for his life, Sapnap noticed what a compromising position they were in, with Dream straddling him and pinning him to the ground, his gaze burning even from behind the mask and both of them panting and—

_ Jesus fucking Christ. Pull yourself together. _

Dream tucked away his axe, pulling out some meat and beginning to eat it, seemingly not a care in the world with the other beneath him. Spotting the glimmering opportunity and grasping it, Sapnap scanned around, searching for any possible exits that would end with him alive. They both knew that Dream was stronger than him, so he needed to think of some way to get him off, or to distract him for long enough to push him away and make his escape.

_ C’mon, Sapnap, don’t think about this position too much. It’s nothing. It’s just a way for him to keep you where you are, nothing more. Think, think. _

But Sapnap couldn’t scheme clearly in the situation, his mind clouded and hazy, until his shining chance was crushed beneath the sole of Dream’s foot as he had that same golden axe pressed to his throat, not hard enough to draw blood but enough pressure to stutter his breathing. As he opened his mouth to talk (or, well, to beg for his life), Dream pushed harder, making him gasp.

“Quiet.” Despite it being a whisper, Dream’s voice still held an authoritative tone to it, which Sapnap complied to, trying his best to soften his breathing. Dream quickly looked left, then right, then leaned down to Sapnap’s face, and _holy shit_ , “The only way you’re getting out of this is if you lead them the opposite way. No tricks or gags. You didn’t see me. Understood?”

_What if I don’t want to be let go?_ Sapnap thought, then immediately blushed and mentally slapped himself: of all the times to be horny. Not wanting to annoy Dream any further for fear of an axe in his throat, Sapnap nodded eagerly, trying his best to keep the fear — and his, ahem, other emotions — out of his eyes. Even from behind the mask, Sapnap just knew that Dream was grinning like the smuggest bastard in the world right about now, and maybe that’s exactly what he was.

“Good boy.” Dream cooed, taking his axe away and lingering for a moment longer before letting go of his wrists and standing, stepping off of him and brushing himself down. Though he was free, Sapnap barely moved, only sitting up to rub at his red wrists, “Go. Before I change my mind.”

At those words, Sapnap scrambled up, looking around for a short moment before quickly grabbing his sword once again and scurrying away, between a grouping of trees to find the others all stood together, looking defeated.

“Sapnap, are you okay? You’re red as hell.” George commented, making everyone turn to look at him. Under their stares, Sapnap only blushed more, the feeling reminding him of what just happened; he bit his tongue. Some part of him didn’t want to betray Dream, despite him being their literal enemy.

“Yeah, I’m good. Uh— We should probably head to the plains over there—“ He vaguely motioned to behind them, “—And get ready to farm pearls. It’s getting dark.”

It wasn’t really nighttime yet, but the rest of the group nodded, probably sick and tired of the stupid jungle as they started off without hesitation. Pausing for a moment, Sapnap took a shaking breath, the phrase ‘ _good boy_ ’ echoing in his mind. Shaking himself off, he hurriedly followed after the others, not wanting to be left alone again.

From the bushes, Dream crouched, watching until Sapnap had disappeared into the woods before chuckling. A small smile played at his lips as he stood, axe still drawn while he walked the other way, humming a peaceful tune to himself. 

Cute.

**Author's Note:**

> ( ͡ಠ ͜ʖಠ ͡)
> 
> ^^that’s a new emoticon i made. i call it Pain.


End file.
